Would you believe me if I said I used to envy people doing things I didn’t even want to do? Of course, you would, because if you are honest you have probably felt this way too.

An article from mentalhealth.com states, “Envy is also related to depression, anxiety, the development of prejudice, and personal unhappiness. Not surprisingly, these negative mental states can impact physical health.”

What Is Envy, Really?

In her book, Atlas of the Heart Brené Brown says, “Envy typically involves two people and occurs when one lacks something enjoyed by another.” In other words, envy is projected self-doubt in your ability to live freely. I’ll use myself as an example. I used to be envious of girls who did full glam makeup even for a quick trip to the store. You know, the gorgeous women who will not be seen without a little foundation.

The Makeup Revelation

Here is the kicker- I don’t care about makeup and I never really have. I don’t enjoy spending money on it and most makeup pallets I have, I received from friends who were upgrading. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good lipstick. Still, at most, I only have about 5. I envied them but didn’t actually want to be them. I realize now that I didn’t believe that 1) I would ever be able to learn how to apply makeup as they did and 2) I wouldn’t look as good if I tried.

*Makeup free and gorgeous in* Geoje Island, South Korea

Feeling small but inspired in Doge's Palace, Venice, Italy

Well, I did learn. I learned that while beautiful the look is too expensive (for my tastes) and takes way too long. The thought of doing that every day makes me want never to leave the house. I also learned I looked damn good. So while lovely and fun to do on occasion majority of the time I wear little to no makeup. It was never about the makeup. It was about feeling beautiful and lacking that feeling. What does this have to do with my life as a travel blogger?

The Travel Trigger

Like far too many people, I hated my job. Simultaneously I loved and hated watching all of the photos and videos of other people traveling the world. I couldn’t possibly travel, I worked full-time to cover all the bills. At most, I would get my two weeks vacation, which was never enough and my family always wanted a piece of it. It was a never-ending cycle of feeling envious and going to work. This cycle of doubting my ability to live as a traveler eventually led to a deep depression until one day I decided I had enough.

From Envy to Action

I wanted to see the world, so I would. I had been out of the country twice before but as a vacationer, never a traveler. Since deciding to be a traveler I have been to several cities in 3 countries outside the US (8 total). By no means am I close to the well-seasoned travelers with 40-plus countries on their passports, but I also no longer feel envious. My envy has been replaced with excitement that one day I too will have made memories in over 40 countries.

Turning Envy Into Inspiration

I encourage you to take a moment or several, every instance you feel envy. Pinpoint what it is you are envious of. What do you think you are lacking to achieve that thing? Then challenge that thought, and do it anyway.

I thought I couldn’t be a writer, and that it was too late for me. I didn’t go to school for it, and to be honest I stopped writing seriously in high school. I became envious of people who wrote in their free time or published their own books. You need too much time to write. You need money to publish. No one would read it anyway. These were all my limiting beliefs.

The truth is, that writing is free. Publishing books or your own blogs costs, but there are plenty of sites where writing can be posted for free. Do I need more time or to be more effective with my time? My friends read my blog, and according to my analytics, so do several strangers all over the globe. Writing is free, and to quote myself from Learning to Be A Writer, “Everything else is extra”.

Breaking Up With Envy

After 2 years of living abroad, I can say envy and I have broken up. She’s been replaced with curiosity and excitement. Get curious about yourself and what you have been repressing. Get excited about all the new ways you will learn to express yourself.

Have you ever felt envious? Share your experience and how you overcame it in the comments below. Let’s inspire each other to grow!"

Me, Myself, and Envy